‘My loss was a baby who never made it to earth’: Amanda Holden reveals she found a ‘spiritual way’ to deal with loss of stillborn son Theo as she says ‘you never forget but you move forward’
- The Sands National Helpline provides a safe, confidential place for anyone who has been affected by the death of a baby
- Call the Sands Helpline on 0808 164 3332 firstname.lastname@example.org
Amanda Holden discussed losing her son Theo at seven months in 2011 after he was stillborn.
The singer, 49, appeared on Loose Women on Thursday and she bravely discussed how she had tried to come to terms with her loss.
Amanda was asked by Kaye Adams what advice she would give to people in a similar situation to her.
‘My loss was a baby who never made it to earth’: Amanda Holden told Loose Women on Thursday she found a ‘spiritual way’ to deal with loss of stillborn son Theo in 2011
Amanda said: ‘I had to create a scenario in my head my baby chose me in my head but he was never meant to come down’
She said: ‘It’s so difficult because everyone reacts in different ways – because my loss was a baby that never made it to earth I had to find a spiritual way around it.’
‘I had to create a scenario in my head my baby chose me in my head but he was never meant to come down.
She continued: ‘I was blessed with my daughter Holly who came soon after.
‘It’s a cliche but you can only take one day at a time – it’s what you can learn from it, gather everyone around you. I hung on very tight to Chris [husband] and my family.’
She continued: ‘I was blessed with my daughter Holly who came soon after’
She said: ‘It’s a cliche but you can only take one day at a time – it’s what you can learn from it, gather everyone around you. I hung on very tight to Chris [husband] and my family’
Amanda married Chris Hughes in 2008 and they are also parents to daughters Alexa, 14, and Hollie, eight.
She said her single With You, reminds her of Theo and the loss.
Amanda said of the song: ‘It’s from Ghost The Musical it’s about grief and loss.
‘It’s one of my favourite ever songs and my husband Chris said: “The last two lines of the song remind me of how I felt when we lost Theo”.’
She added: ‘I’m very vocal about how I feel. He never really showed his emotions and wanted to be a tower of strength. So when he said it, it knocked me for six.
Amanda said that she deals with things the best way she can, saying: ‘You never forget but you gradually move forward.’
She said: ‘And she added: ‘Me and Chris are like the plus and minus in a battery, we wouldn’t work without each other’
And she added: ‘Me and Chris are like the plus and minus in a battery, we wouldn’t work without each other.
‘We’re very different people and for us our relationship works because of that. Chris is a lot more considered and I’m lot more out there.
‘If you arrive at my house I’m like a dog and will like you while Chris will stand behind.’
The couple sought therapy after losing their baby and Amanda said: ‘For me I wanted to take Chris because we were using each other too much for our sorrow and grief.
Tragic: Chrissy recently announced that she and her husband John Legend have lost their baby Jack and shared personal images in a bid to help others
Sharing experiences: Amanda shared the loveliest message after a follower had sent his condolences to Chrissy
‘We had our tools, but we needed another voice and it worked brilliantly.
‘Chris came and immediately felt a lot better and never came back and I went for a few more sessions and I found the tools to help myself and Chris.
‘But it definitely helped me to talk about what we’ve been through.’
Amanda’s words come days after she sent a lovely message to Chrissy Teigen after she lost her baby Jack.
One follower had written a lovely post to Chrissy which read: ‘In Lebanese culture, we believe babies like Jack are angels that God selectively chooses to watch over you. Sending you light.’
Amanda replied: ‘This is how I dealt with my loss.’
WHAT IS A STILLBIRTH?
A stillbirth occurs when a baby is born dead after 24 weeks of pregnancy.
If a baby dies before 24 weeks of pregnancy, it is known as a miscarriage.
Not all stillbirths can be prevented, however, not smoking or drinking, as well as not sleeping on your back and attending all antenatal appointments can reduce the risk.
What are the signs?
Signs may include the baby not moving as much as normal.
Pregnant women should contact their doctor immediately if they notice a difference to their baby’s movement.
What are the causes?
Stillbirths do not always have an obvious cause but may occur due to complications with the placenta or a birth defect.
They are also more likely to occur if women suffer from high blood pressure, diabetes or an infection that affects the baby, such as flu.
Stillbirths are more likely to occur if women are having twins or multiple pregnancies, are overweight, smoke, are over 35 or have a pre-existing condition, such as epilepsy.
What happens after a stillbirth?
If a baby has died, women may wait for their labour to start naturally or they may be induced if their health is at risk.
Bereavement support groups are available to parents who have suffered stillbirths.
Some find it helpful to name their baby or take pictures with them.
Source: NHS Choices