PIERS MORGAN: ‘We are going to CRUSH Boris into a mangled heap,’ chuckled Alan Duncan 

Friday, March 26

Thierry Henry, one of my all-time Arsenal footballing heroes, has quit social media to protest against the appalling abuse that is rapidly destroying the platforms.

‘There HAS to be some accountability,’ he said. ‘It is far too easy to create an account, use it to bully and harass without consequence and still remain anonymous.’

He’s spot on, and firms such as Twitter and Facebook (which also owns Instagram) must do something about it or many more high-profile people will leave too.

Thierry Henry (above), one of my all-time Arsenal footballing heroes, has quit social media to protest against the appalling abuse that is rapidly destroying the platforms

The nastiest and most hypocritical offenders tend to be those pretending to be the kindest, especially during the recent Meghan/Harry/Oprah furore, which exposed toxic Twitter tribalism as a putrid cesspit of mindless threatening rage.

I couldn’t put it better than another sporting hero of mine, cricketer Kevin Pietersen, who tweeted his support for me when I quit Good Morning Britain and was bombarded with days of vicious hate.

‘The Piers show is highlighting how abusive the “#BeKind” woke brigade actually are,’ he said. ‘I’ve seen it all week on my feed. Things that would NEVER be said to your face – EVER! Absolute muppets! THE LOT OF YOU!’

Kevin, who has publicly and vehemently disagreed with my views on the Sussexes, added: ‘Also, the worst type of people on social media are the ones that in private you know agree with things that are being said, but to be popular and not want the barrage of abuse from the “#BeKind” crew, actually agree with what they don’t believe.’

Exactly. I could name a lot of well- known people who fall into this category of two-faced tweeting chickens, but I won’t… yet.

 

Sunday, March 28

There’s a difference between foul-mouthed abuse or threats, and a robustly held derogatory opinion – and sometimes you just have to applaud a good zinger, even one at your own expense.

‘Piers Morgan has been dishing it out for years,’ scoffed singer Bette Midler – whom I branded a ‘mad racist’ when she attacked Melania Trump last year – ‘& he walked out & quit after a minute of criticism? Even Viagra can’t help a man who is that soft.’

 

Saturday, April 3

Talking of zingers, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed ex Tory Minister Alan Duncan’s incendiary diaries, in which he buries more bodies than a Mafia undertaker.

He has always been gleefully indiscreet.

When Boris Johnson first considered running for the Conservative Party leadership in June 2016, I attended an ITV summer party in the heart of Westminster and found a seething hotbed of political gossip, intrigue and plotting. 

Talking of zingers, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed ex Tory Minister Alan Duncan’s (above with Boris Johnson at The Spectator party in 2003) incendiary diaries

Talking of zingers, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed ex Tory Minister Alan Duncan’s (above with Boris Johnson at The Spectator party in 2003) incendiary diaries

As the drink flowed, Duncan – who was supporting Theresa May as candidate – told me: ‘Piers, we’re going to CRUSH Boris into a mangled heap. He’s going to get f*****, trust me. Completely and comprehensively F*****! And it couldn’t happen to a bigger buffoon!’

He then winked and chuckled: ‘Off the record, obviously.’

Two days later, Boris was indeed duly crushed into a mangled heap and completely f***** when Michael Gove betrayed him and May ended up Prime Minister.

To complete the farce, she promptly made Boris her Foreign Secretary – and Alan Duncan his deputy!

 

Wednesday, April 7

When the paperback of my own diaries, Wake Up, was released a week ago, I asked my publishers HarperCollins how I could get it to No 1.

‘You need to beat Michelle Obama… who’s pretty much unbeatable,’ came the reply.

They were right to be sceptical of my chances. The former First Lady’s excellent memoir Becoming has sold 15 million copies worldwide, five times more than even her husband Barack’s new tome about his presidency, and the paperback’s been No 1 by miles since it was released last month.

But I love a challenge. So, for the past week I’ve given it everything in terms of relentless social-media promotion. And at 3pm today, my publisher Oli called. ‘Michelle Obama sold 5,324 copies last week.’ 

Pause. ‘… And you sold 8,161. You’re No 1!’

As Mrs Obama once also famously said: ‘When they go low, we go high.’

Of all the feedback I’ve had for Wake Up – which ironically, given my recent situation, is a defence of free speech and a clarion call for woke liberals to stop cancelling everyone! – my favourite came from a man named Robert O’Neill, who emailed: ‘I wanted to tell you that your book is the best I’ve read in years. Top five in my life… and I’ve read the Bible! Absolute common sense.’ 

Mr O’Neill is the former Navy SEAL Team 6 hero who shot and killed Osama Bin Laden.

 

Thursday, April 8

One of my most vociferous long-time critics has been notably silent about my latest scrape. For nearly 30 years, The Guardian’s media correspondent, Roy Greenslade, railed against my moral and ethical failings as a journalist, and those of many others in Fleet Street.

Such was his own virtuous purity he was even made a Professor of Journalism at City, University of London.

Normally, Greenslade would have been all over my GMB saga like a cheap censorious rash. The reason for his silence is that he recently revealed he was a secret long-time supporter of the IRA’s terror campaign, which included blowing up innocent women and children – but he kept it quiet throughout his career to ensure he could keep paying his mortgage.

‘Professor’ Greenslade’s thus exposed himself as the most disgusting, snivelling, hypocritical and fraudulent coward in the history of journalism.

 

Friday, April 9

Not all Royal duchesses were as thrilled as Meghan ‘Pinocchio’ Markle to see me leave GMB.

‘People have said how much they miss your morning joy and humour,’ texted Sarah, Duchess of York, ‘get back out there!’

Perhaps we should start a new breakfast show together… ‘Morgy and Fergie in the Morning’, anyone?