Single mothers buy a house together as ‘platonic spouses’

A woman who bought a house with another single mom has opened up about raising their children under the same roof, saying the ‘arrangement is a kid paradise.’

In an essay published by Insider, Holly Harper, 41, from Washington, D.C. detailed how she bought a four-unit apartment building with her friend Herrin Hopper after separating from her partner of 17 years in 2018 and selling their family home. 

Harper, the founder of Anagram Consulting, explained that she knew it would be impossible to find a duplex or condo in the area on her ‘self-employed, single-mom budget,’ but she wanted to own something as an investment. 

‘To be able to do this, I found another single mom with the same needs as mine — space, comfort, a home — to live with,’ she wrote. ‘It’s been a life changer for not only us but also our children.’

Holly Harper, 41, from Washington, D.C. detailed how she bought a four-unit apartment building with her friend Herrin Hopper in an essay for Insider

Harper, who has one daughter, said she has always craved a familial community like the ones she’s seen on her favorite television programs. After her divorce, she ‘vowed to be open to unique opportunities’ — and, in this case, a unique living arrangement. 

In a twist of fate, one of her closest friends not only separated from her husband around the same that she got divorced, but she also shared her ‘commune dream.’

However, they didn’t take the decision lightly. Harper explained that they approached the arrangement ‘like choosing a platonic spouse.’

Before they started house hunting, they made sure they shared similar political outlooks, parenting styles, finances, and lifestyles. They also had to agree on what kind of property they wanted to buy together and a maximum budget. 

‘We wanted a multifamily property that would allow two units of similar size, with neither of us sleeping in a basement,’ she explained. 

The two moms also felt it was important to live in a safe neighborhood and be within walking distance of public transport. 

Harper said they found their ‘perfect-fit’ home on the very first day of their search, but it’s not just the two of them. 

After they closed on the property in June 2020, they offered the fourth unit to another single mother as a rent-to-own option. 

‘Legally, we are coinvestors and have an operating agreement for the asset purchase,’ she explained. ‘We then created a sub-agreement by which we are considered “tenants in common.”‘

Harper called the nontraditional arrangement 'kid paradise' as she detailed the benefits of sharing a home with other mothers

Harper called the nontraditional arrangement ‘kid paradise’ as she detailed the benefits of sharing a home with other mothers 

Harper described it as living ‘in a condo building with an informal, but legal, agreement between us.’

By August 2020, the three mothers and their five kids — ages 9, 9, 10, 11, and 13 —were all living under the same roof with three dogs, two hamsters, and a gecko. 

While Harper believes the benefits to their living situation outweigh the drawbacks, she admitted they face the same challenges other families do in traditional living situations. 

Because there are five growing kids in the house, they often have to deal with more noise, messes, and things breaking. Sometimes, when she wants to be alone, she will find herself with extra kids to watch and feed. 

However, she insisted that the ‘benefits of our housing arrangement are immeasurable’ and she has ‘never been happier.’

According to Harper, she and the other moms share cars, carpool together, host potlucks, babysit each other’s kids, and walk each other’s dogs.   

‘This living arrangement is a kid paradise, complete with a giant trampoline, a parkour line, a garden, a gym, a big-screen TV, and a craft studio,’ she wrote.